Hi.

I lay it all out--
Marriage | Motherhood.
Kiki | V | Mimi | King
I'm slowly figuring it out and documenting the journey.

The Plunge | The Reset Button Pt 1

The Plunge | The Reset Button Pt 1

**This is the first part of a two part series: The Reset Button. This series talks about my experiences during the first year after taking the plunge and starting all over again, from scratch** It has been one year since we moved. When I say "we" I mean "I" because it was not as straightforward as one would think. 

I needed to report to my new job ASAP. It was the middle of V's semester, so he had to stay behind to finish up. We each had hectic schedules: I had to travel during the week, he had to juggle a full time job and full time grad school. We had talked at length about what we would do with Mimi during "the transition". Neither of us would be able to engage with her as we should. We decided that it would be a good time for her to have an "extended vacation" with my family in Trinidad so she could spend some time with her international relatives while experiencing the culture and customs that made Kiki--Kiki. 

It was easy at first. I knew Mimi was having the time of her life and that she was well cared for. 

I knew V was doing his thing and taking care of business. I had a very active project in New Orleans. The complimentary upgrades to presidential suites made me feel more than comfortable, but the food, hands down the food, made the experience so enjoyable. 

Unfortunately, the honeymoon was short-lived. Weeks of us being scattered across the globe started to take its emotional toll on me. 

"Don't think about it. Everyone is fine. Everything is fine. Don't think about it." 

Mimi's birthday was fast approaching. Mimi's first birthday was fast approaching. My first baby's first birthday. I wasn't even in the same country. 

"Don't think about it. Everyone is fine. Everything is fine. Don't think about it." 

Her birthday came and went. I felt so guilty. 

"Don't think about it. Everyone is fine. Everything is fine. Don't think about it."

V was able to drive down and we spent Thanksgiving together. Together, without Mimi. She missed her first Thanksgiving. 

"Don't think about it. Everyone is fine. Everything is fine. Don't think about it."

V's semester was almost over, and the three of us would soon be reunited. We'd all be together and all will be well. Wait. Where would we live??? 

"Don't think about it. Everyone is fine. Everything is fine. Don't think about it."

With me gone all week and resting on weekends, I hadn't started our housing search in earnest. Mimi and V are going to move here, and we would all couch surf? Was this move all for nothing? 

"Don't think about it. Everyone is fine. Everything is fine. Don't think about it."

Except, I had to think about it. 

I got a real estate agent and started knocking out home tours. I was glued to my Realtor and Zillow apps. I found a house I liked as soon as it came on the market. I had a local project and I was actually in town, so I scheduled a viewing the next day. 

The traffic was... Abysmal. Still, I thought I'd give it a chance. 2 hours later, I took my exit from the interstate. The landscape instantly changed. It was like I was in another world. A quaint little town with shopping and restaurants. Beautiful, lush, and green. This is where people came to raise children. I got to the house. It'd need some work, but it was priced well, and I didn't mind putting in sweat equity. 

I left the house. More traffic. Shit. 2.5hrs to get to my destination this time. I sent V some pictures and we talked while I was in the car. We weighed the pros and cons. Surely the traffic couldn't be that bad every day. We'd leave it on the list for consideration. I finally got back to my aunt's house. My Zillow app pinged. 

Sold. 

That's right, taken off the market after two days. We didn't even have a chance to say no. 

"Don't think about it. Everyone is fine. Everything is fine. Don't think about it."

I continued along with the search. The market was hot. Nothing lasted very long before being snapped up. I started to lose hope. 

"Don't think about it. Everyone is fine. Everything is fine. Don't think about it."

My Realtor called me one afternoon. She found a house she wanted me to tour. It had been on the market for about a month. What was wrong with it? I checked the online listing. Terrible quality pictures, some were even upside-down. Did this person even want to sell their house? She assured me that although the online profile left much to be desired, I should visit the house in person. The reason the house was still on the market was that they were getting basically zero foot traffic.  So I went. 

It was perfect. 

This was the one. This is where we needed to be. I sent V photos and videos. We needed to put an offer in on it--immediately. My family grew concerned. They thought I was rushing-- which I was. But I assured them, I had my reasons. Excellent schools, updated house, reasonable commute, right on the money. I assured them that this was right decision. Still, the seeds of doubt had been planted in my mind.

Darkest Before Dawn | The Reset Button Pt 2

Darkest Before Dawn | The Reset Button Pt 2

Cheeseburger Crotch