I let a lot of stuff go. I found that I was allowing myself to live in a permanent state of stress and I wasn't able to engage fully with everything I needed to do.

2017 was a long year. So much happened that there was simply no time to stop. Stop to think. Stop to write. Stop to relax. So I quit.

Call it a resolution, call it an epiphany. I really had to let go (which is hard for a control freak). But I was able to climb up on that ladder, cross my arms, close my eyes,  and let go, and what do you know, V was right there waiting to catch me.

A huge part of letting go was letting go of my job. I had gotten so comfortable with the fast paced, high-stress environment that I actually fooled myself into thinking that it was normal, or OK. Or safe. Or necessary. But it wasn't.

So today I end the first month of 2018 with a farewell. I release all the anger, hurt, sadness, fear, and drama that has been plaguing me. There is so much that life has to offer me. I refuse to wear the golden shackles of a promise of a prosperous retirement to waste my youth in misery.

I won't apologize for stepping back in 2017, because I was taking care of what I needed to take care of. But I'm here now. I'm present and engaged. I am capable. I am loved. I am strong. I am affirmed. I am...

Kiki Crabapple.